By Jane Sandwood
Over 50 percent of people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) battle to regulate their emotions, according to research published in the American Journal Of Psychiatry. When they're confronted by a difficult emotional situation such as grief, their reactions might surprise you. For instance, they might be prone to angry outbursts. By understanding what they're feeling, you can help them cope better while also lowering your stress as a caregiver or parent.
Anger is one of the common signs of ADHD in children due to how they battle to keep their emotions in check. It's important to realise that the child isn't acting out or being "naughty" but rather reacting to the intense emotion he or she feels. It's important to give your ADHD child a healthy outlet for this anger. This can be achieved by scheduling time to talk about their feelings of loss and grief. Doing this will give the child a chance to express and work through their grief, thus reducing unpredictable outbursts. Encouraging a healthy lifestyle that includes regular exercise is also important for your ADHD child during this emotionally trying time. In the book, "Spark: The Revolutionary New Science Of Exercise And The Brain" author Dr. John Ratey writes that exercise encourages the brain to control aggression better.
Dealing with grief throws many different emotions at you from various directions, but for a child with ADHD it can be especially difficult to multitask. As a person with ADHD explains in an article on the Independent, the experience of having ADHD can be described as sitting in front of TV screens that are all tuned into different channels. It's difficult to concentrate on anything. Sometimes, though, the person will tune into one channel and become absorbed by what is on the screen. This makes it difficult to break attention away from that screen and focus on another. A child with ADHD might focus on one part of the loved one's death, such as what to wear to the funeral, and obsess about it without being able to deal with other things or feelings. If it feels like the child isn't facing their feelings, you can help by remembering the lost loved one with your child, such as by going through photos or a box of memories. This is a great way to encourage the child to deal with his/or her feelings and learn to cope with feelings of grief. It also prevents the child from isolation and depression, two states that can occur with ADHD.
Increased impulsive choices is a key symptom of ADHD, according to a study published in the Clinical Psychological Review journal. A child with ADHD might do inappropriate, spontaneous things during the period of loss and grief. This could include what's known as verbal impulsivity, such as interrupting people or blurting out how they can't wait for the holidays. These might seem random and rude, but try not to judge. Be empathetic in your response, such as by telling the child that you'll continue planning your holiday once the grief is easier to manage. It's also important to tell the child what to expect, such as when it comes to the funeral where other people will be present. Give him/her a checklist of how to deal with social interaction during this time, such as speaking softly, not interrupting people, and so on. These should be written down so that the child with ADHD will have a visual reminder of them, making easier for him/her to feel more in control of the confusing situation.
Dealing with grief is never easy, and it becomes more complicated if you need to help a child with ADHD cope with it. But, by knowing some important tips to help them through the process, you can both navigate through the grieving process in healthier ways.